I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
