i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
