Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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