The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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