and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
