I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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