She's JV to your varsity
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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