Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
