my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
