I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
