Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
