Dual....:-)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
