yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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