Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
