mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
