your parents love me but you hate me
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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