I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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