Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
