After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
