she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
