he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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