She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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