She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize