evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
