so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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