Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
