who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
