Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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