just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
