I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
