i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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