Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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