If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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