I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
