Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
