We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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