you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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