dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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