What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
