This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize