I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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