i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
