if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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