Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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