wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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