Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
