You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
