So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
