Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
