hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
