I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
