so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize