therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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