I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
