if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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