Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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