dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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