HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize