Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize