just tell him i said nine months
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
