I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
