Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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