he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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