no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
