and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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