stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
