how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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