he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
