nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
should my penis look like a turkey
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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