More tranny stories later!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
