why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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