Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
