so explain again why im purple
no
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
