so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
