he shaved USA in his pubs
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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