I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
