office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
