If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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