You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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