Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
